So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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