I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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