party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
