just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
