TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
