You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize