I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
