someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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