so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
