Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
