Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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