Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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