how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
