So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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