We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
