call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
