the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Randomize
