garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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