i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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