Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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