I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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