Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
