Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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