Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
