So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Michael Bay diarrhea
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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