I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Found the puke drawer
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
