Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
