I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
cat food counts as protein by the way
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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