And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
