she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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