went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Alive.
So much puke
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
