I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
