So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
