addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
