Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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