I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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