So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
