he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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