that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
