why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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