I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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