he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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