then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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