Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
