I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
