Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
it's like heaven, but drunker
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
