Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't deserve a penis
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
