I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
