Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
