honey bunches of taint.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
