i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
