i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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