apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
