OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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