oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
