sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm really busy with my period
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