I heard we made out
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
