Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
