i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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