just tell him i said nine months
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
